Today, the water department has started to run the water line extension to our property. They said they will be finished tomorrow and we will have a meter in our front yard! Yea!
Then we just need to run the water from the meter into our home. I think the Spurlings, parents from Wade's school, offered to help us with that, so that will be nice. It's been 4 years of dirty, bacteria, well water. We can't wait to take a bath & brush our teeth in clean water! :) Thank you Scott Elementary School PTA!
What a relief!!! The biopsy results were negative for any Lymphoma cells! Yea!! Dr. Hudson (dermatologist who took the biopsy) says more than likely I am just having a skin reaction to the dead cancer cells & chemo. Biopsy said it is a hive-like rash, it could last awhile he says, but I told him as long as it's not cancer, I can learn to live with it. Just so happy to hear it wasn't the cancer coming back!!! Thank you God!!!
The doctor took a biopsy out of the top of my hand last week where my rash was most active at the time. I won't get the results back until monday. Of course, we are all worried it's the cancer coming back but I try to stay positive.
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Hi Mal,
I love your blog!!!
It's fantastic to read, especially for those of us who've gone through treatment and suffered from the physical, mental, and emotional toll that comes with a cancer diagnosis.
I will hold your health in the most positive light and hope that the biopsy comes back negatory :-)
Best,
Kim (Izzydoesit from the HD forum)
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Hey Mal,
just wanted you to know that I still think of you every sigle day. I've been wanting to stop by for another visit but Cindy has had such a terrible cold for the last couple of weeks and we didn't want to spread it around. I'll pray Monday that you get good results. Sarah Mclachlan's song Angel means so much to me!!! I use to listen to it over and over during my battle and it gave me so much comfort. Music is such a wonderful thing, I'd be lost without it. Thanks for being such an inspiration to me and so many other's in our Cancer family. Remember I'm only a few month's from 3 years in remission from stage 4 Lymphoma. I still feel that it picked the wrong guy to try to beat. You'll always have support here.
Love, Hope and Inspiration.
Bobby S
--Posted by Bobby Schneider to Mallory's Journal at 2/18/2007 08:08:52 PM
Everyone always asks me, how I have made it thru all these terrible things in my life, how I've mangaged to hold myself together thru such tragedies. I never really know what to say.
Like many other people who have gone thru so many awful struggles, I just try to put a smile on my face & nod my head. But on the inside is a different story. I haven't made it thru without alot of damage.
Every morning I wake up, I see the damage on the outside of my body, all my missing hair, the 22lbs I've gained from chemo steroids, the chemo chemical scars on my torso & arms, the portacath sticking out of my chest, the surgery scars on my abdomen & chest, the rash that is now on my torso, neck & hands and I don't recognize the person in the mirror anymore. But I try to remember that I'm still alive and the outside of me will hopefully get better, my hair will grow back, I'll hopefully lose the weight, the portacath will hopefully come out this year, but the scars... will always be a painful reminder.
Just like the scars I carry on the inside. Only my doctor & closest friends know the mental struggles I've been facing, which seem to be getting worse instead of better. Since the chemo & radiation, I have lost much of my short term memory, my abilites to comprehend, concentrate, figure simple math, etc. have diminished. On top of this, understandably, is alot of depression & anxiety. I feel like I should have the right to feel sad & scared sometimes without having to feel guilty about it. It's hard to keep the tears bottled up ALL the time & a smile on my face for the sake of everyone around me.
I met with Dr. Browning again yesterday, he is so awesome, he really listens to me and works hard at finding solutions for my disease. He seems to think my anxiety & rash may be related. He gave me medicine for GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) & depression. He said it's no wonder with all I've been thru these the last 2 years. He's also worried the rash could be cancer related and wants me to have a biopsy done. Ugh! Just when I thought things were getting better & back to normal.
The only thing that brings me joy is being around children. We had a sleepover saturday night with all the boys. My nephews, Jack 13 & Jeremiah 8 months, came over to spend the night with Wade & Cody. I took the boys to the new Evansville Children's museum (again), they loved it! Then we came home made milkshakes & sundaes & pitched a tent in the living room to camp out in. The boys played and watched movies while I rocked little baby Jeremiah to sleep by the cozy fire. It was a wonderful evening with the kids. I just love children, they are so sweet, loving, happy & funny to be around, I guess that's what keeps me going, they make me forget all the harsh realities in life for a little while.
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Insight from Ann on the Luekemia & Lymphoma message board, I can particularly relate to right now in my early post-treatment days:
Once in a while I read something that really rings true for me. I don't always feel that I can put my feeling in words but something I read recently, strikes a cord. It was an article in the New York Times Magazine written by a cancer survivor, Jenny Allen.(Feb. 4th,pg 88)
She stated, I am doing my best these days to stick to the script in which the cancer patient "bounces back" after successful treatment-not only bounces back but is returned to her family and friends in an improved version, a person flooded with gratitude and a refreshed love for life- but am not doing so with much conviction. I have learned that just as you are beginning to realize you have had this dreadful disease, everyone else is starting to forget it. It is like arriving at the end of an awful trip, craving the embrace of your loved ones and finding that they have all gone somewhere else.
http://ubb-lls.leukemia-lymphoma.org/ubb/Forum11/HTML/000283.html
I have had tremendous support from family and friends but really did feel very alone and scared when the treatment stopped. This board has been very helpful in finding other people going through the same thing.
Thanks!
Ann
Today, the water department has started to run the water line extension to our property. They said they will be finished tomorrow and we will have a meter in our front yard! Yea!
