Thank you to all our friends & family!

I did my Ct scan today, I won't know results until wednesday. I'm still nauseous from the barium I had to drink and that awful dye they insert in your body through the IV for the contrast. That stuff is awful! Anyone who has had an abdominal ct knows what I'm talking about.
I wanted to thank everyone for all their generosity! My friends and family have been helping us alot lately and we really appreciate it.
Tonight, we received a big surprise from Parke Church, they gave my friend Wendy, a huge basket of items they have collected to donate to us, everything from coloring books and school supplies for the boys to lotions, soaps, bath supplies, prayer cards, books and chapsticks for me! How thoughtful! Not to mention a huge monetary donation from one very generous lady at the church. God really does answer our prayers! As long as we keep the faith and keep praying, I know we can make it through this!
Thank you so much everyone who has been so generous over the last couple months, I don't know what I'd do without you all!

CT scan for monday

Feeling better today. I had alot of blood in my poop the last couple days so my Oncologist is sending me in for another CT scan on monday to see whats going on. I'll get the results on wednesday when I go in for chemo #4.

Anonymous said...
Hey Mallory I'll be thinking of you even more this Wednesday during your treatment. I remember dreading my Chemo's but always told myself that it's Mind Over Matter because in my case it didn't mind how much I mattered I had to go through it do get into remission. Hang in there girl because this will all be behind you before you know it. Believe me!!! All of our Love Bobby Schneider

9:34 PM

Pain...

The pain is almost unbearable. Hard relentless pain in my whole belly. Pain pills only take the edge off for a short period of time, enough so I can function and get things done a little here and there, like taking a shower. Sometimes it will ease up for a couple hours or so but never completely goes away. I don't know how Mark made it through all his pain after his accident. At least he knows how I feel and understands my frustration and desperation.
My hair is still falling out all the time, I'm not bald yet, but you can see my scalp in the front through my thinning hair.
Here's what my drain looks like every day after taking a shower, and this is just one shower~!

Scary to watch all your hair fall out. I go in for chemo #4 next wednesday. I've still got enough hair that covers my head so I hate to shave it all off if it's not all going to fall out. My hair is the least of my worries right now.
The pain completely controls me right now and thats all I really think about. I try everything I can think of to get relief, I even have my boys walk on my belly. They are being great through all this. Wade is a really good helper, he can do almost anything from cooking hotdogs in the microwave to getting laundry out of the dryer, you name it, he's a little smarty. Cody is a little love bug, anytime I lay down he comes over to make sure I'm alright, petting my head and hugging me. I'm so glad I have them here.

Anonymous said...
Hey Mallory...you are in my thoughts and prayers every day. I am glad you are keeping the journal so that I can be aware of what you are dealing with and can pray specifically. Somewhere down the road you will be able to use what you know about this horrible experience to encourage and help someone else...love you lots...Terri

12:54 PM

Severe muscle aches

Aches and pains are taking over today. The Nuelasta shot for my white blood cells takes a few days to kick in I guess. I'm in an all over kind of pain now, mostly in my muscles. All my muscles hurt just to be touched, everywhere, arms, legs and especially back & shoulders. I'll write more when I'm feeling better.

The nausea is so miserable

Oh my God! This is the worst misery so far. All yesterday and this morning I was SO nauseous and throwing up. I think I'd pick the pain over the nausea anyday. I had to sit with a bucket next to me most the day yesterday. It was all I could do to go to the hospital for the Neulasta shot I had to get for my low white blood cells.
Next chemo, the oncologist said he'd put me on stronger nausea meds. He said it's to be expected that this chemo will become progressively more miserable and unbearable as we go along. I guess it kind of builds up in the body.
Anyway, I'll get through this. It's just so disheartening to know only 3 days ago, right before I went in for chemo I felt great. I guess this is the cycle I will learn to live with the rest of the year. About 9 days of misery followed by about 2 days of ok, 3 days of almost back to normal and then I start all over again! Sometimes I think this is all so unfair. I pray about it.
I've been through some of the most horrible things a person can experience in the last few years, losing my mom, almost losing my husband, many other horrible life-changing things and now this!
I think I've always been a very giving person, always put everyone else's needs above my own, I pray, I try to take care of everyone around me and love my family & friends dearly and I show them and tell them so.
God must have a plan. All I can do is believe and trust in Him. It's all in God's hands.

White blood count too low

Well, I went in for chemo #3 yesterday. It was awful, I felt sick only a couple hours after I got home, which is unusual, it usually takes a couple days for it to kick in.
Oncologist says my white blood count is to low at 2400 it's suppose to be around 4500. So I go in for my first Nuelasta shot today. That's the awful shot everyone says gives you unbearable bone pain. It gets into your bone marrow and reproduces more white blood cells and apparently expands inside your bone causing pressure on your skeleton. I hope the pain doesn't last for days.
I've caught a cold, but no big deal so far. The boys are doing fine and enjoying the summer. It's extremely hot and humid this week though so they've spent alot of time indoors too.
Mark is on vacation this week, so that's nice. We don't have any plans so we are just hanging out around the house.
My family has been donating to us, to help us with all our copays, which is so nice! Thank you all so much.
The Parke church has also been wonderful to us and has been donating quite alot. Twice this week they have brought us cases of canned vegetables, breakfast cereals, mac & cheese and bread. Isn't that wonderful? The Director of the Tri-State Food Bank heard our story and has been giving us special treatment and extra boxes. We are so thankful!
Good things always seem to come out of bad situations. Just have to keep the Faith!

My first pain-free, drug-free day! :)

Yea! My first day with NO pain! I feel great today, a little tired.
At least I know I have about 4 good days right before my next treatment each time. I go in for chemo #3 on wednesday, yuck! Hair is still coming out but can't tell yet, thin but still covers my head.
Mark is on vacation this week, so maybe we will do something fun with the boys while I'm feeling good! I thank God for these good days and make the best of them. I took the boys to the zoo yesterday, it was the Hippo's 55th birthday and there were lots of fun activities, we had a great time!
The 4 of us just all hung out together at home today, helping daddy mow, eating ice cream, playing with a tree frog, swinging on the swing in the garden, we had a beautiful day, all of us together. I'm so blessed with a wonderful husband and kids. I couldn't ask for anything more.

It's only been 16 months since Mark's accident

Can you belive?... 16 months ago, last March 31st, 2005, my husband, Mark, was severly t-boned on his way to work by a teenage girl who ran a stop sign at full speed and hit him in the side of his truck on Green River road pushing him into oncoming traffic where he was hit a second time headon by another big pickup truck. He was in the ICU 33 days with both lungs completely crushed & one collapsed, 8 broken ribs, lacerated liver in 3 places, extensive internal bleeding, broken eye socket, seperated shoulder, broken jaw, lots of gashes and puncture wounds. He had 3 chest tubes, had several surgeries, was on a ventilator for weeks, couldn't move or talk for almost a month. He didn't leave St. Mary's hospital until 2nd week in June last summer!
I know if Mark can live through the horrible nightmare he was a victim of, then I can make it through this. I just hope we get a year off soon, this is way too much for any family to have endure in such a short period of time.
I remember when the doctors didn't expect him to make it and look at him now! He is my inspiration. He is my HERO! (always has been)
I've had some people ask me about his accident and the articles, so here you go...

Insurance problems

I feel alot better today than I did last weekend, but the pain just never completely goes away.
I met with my sister-in-laws, Sandra & Dee, to take all the kids out to the Pizza Hut playground today for lunch. We had a great time watching all the kids play while we enjoyed a nice quiet conversation. We plan to meet again next week at the zoo one day if the weather ever clears up. It's so nice to be such great friends with family and that all our kids love playing with each other. I don't know what I'd ever do without Sandra and Dee, they are such great friends and would do anything for me, and have! :)
Bad news came in the mail, when I got home, the insurance company is trying to give us a hard time now, they have not paid the hospital bills saying they need proof first that this was not a pre-existing condition! I hope God has a plan for us.
I hope God will soon restore us both to good health and financial strength. We can only pray...

Pain has set in & hair falling out

Friday night and Saturday morning were my worst days so far. I had terrible pain in my lower jaw, tongue, down my neck and into my shoulders. My left arm was almost useless, it had no strength and turned cold and red. Saturday morning the pain had spread into my back, I couldn't find a comfortable position my whole body just ached so bad. Thankfully, Mark came home from fishing Saturday afternoon and went to the pharmacy to pick up my pain medicine.
It was like night and day, I felt so much better once the pain medicine kicked in. Now I'm just dealing with my hair loss, it's falling out constantly, making a mess everywhere. I know I need to just go ahead and shave it off, but it is SO much easier said than done. Maybe I'll get the courage up today, I don't know.

I finally got some sleep last night, I still have to get up about twice a night to go pee, I don't know why, I have to go to the bathroom so often now. Maybe it's because my bowels still aren't working so my urinary tract is the only thing keeping things moving. Who knows! I have to take my pain medicine about 4am so I'm not in terrible pain when I wake up. I'm learning as I go.
Thank you to everyone who has sent cards, gifts, donations & emails. It helps to know I've got such good friends and family.

Anonymous said...
Hey Mal! Thanks for letting us know what is going on with you. You, Mark and the boys are always in our thoughts and prayers. We will come to visit soon...of course, we will call first.

We love you...stay strong.

Sonya

12:58 PM


Anonymous said...
Hi Mallory,

Thank you for getting this site, it is a good thing. You may not remember, but when your Uncle Pete's hair fell out, it came back more beautiful than ever, so try not to dwell on it. You are more beautiful on the inside anyway.

Love to you and the family,

Pat

9:42 AM


Anonymous said...
Hey Mallory. I was looking through a magazine and saw a new medicine. It helps with all the problems your having. It also said it helps reduce hair loss. It's called Aloxi. Just know I love you okay?
-Meggan-
P.S-I hope to see you soon!

5:41 PM

Port inserted, chemo begins...

So let the battle begin! It wasn't until 3 weeks later, after my tumor had been sent off to the Mayo Clinic in Boston that it was determined I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. This is the rarest of lymphoma's but thought to be the most treatable in most cases.

I am a stage 2A. There is only 4 stages of cancer, each one mostly pertaining to how much the cancer has spread throughout the body. Mine is localized in my lower right abdomen and has spread into the bone of my right hip. (but not in my bone marrow) I had a bone marrow test done and it came back negative, thank goodness. Let me tell you though, if you have been recently diagnosed with this disease and have not yet had the bone marrow test done, make sure to ask for sedation. It is one of the most painful experiences you will go through! You lay on a table on your belly as the doctor uses a hand crank drill to drill a small whole through your lower back and pull out a plug of your bone and marrow. The feeling is a cross between your fingernails being ripped off down a chalkboard and chewing on aluminum foil at the same time. Not pleasant.

After diagnosis, then staging, then bone marrow test comes the portacath. This is an awful plastic and metal piece about 1" large put inside my chest with a long cord that is threaded into a main artery across my neck and down my chest into my heart. This is a device used to inject the chemo IV drugs into my body without having to use the veins in my arms which can be very damaging.
The surgeon kept me awake the whole time during the surgery. This made the bone marrow test look like a piece of cake. I haven't read on any of the other message boards that anyone else was kept awake and not put under for this surgery except ...lucky me. This was THE most painful thing I have ever gone through. And I have had 2 c-sections! I'm glad I got the port now but I still don't know why I was purposely kept awake & tortured having it surgically inserted. Here's an ugly picture of it. You can see it poking out from under my skin...















Here it is without the bandage:















My oncologist (cancer doctor) has me planned for 12 ABVD chemo treatments and then radiation on my right hip after chemo which should be around Christmas.

I had my first chemo treatment June 20th. It was scary, unpleasant and took 4 hours! That's alot of drugs. The nurses access my port in my chest with a needle and then hook me up to an IV pole. Then over the course of about 4 hours she continues to bring in several IV bags of poison that flow into my body. It's a strange feeling knowing that toxic, corrosive drugs are being pumped into you. What other choice is there though right?
Some of the drugs don't feel bad, others I can taste in my mouth as they go in. I bring tea or sprite with me to sip on the whole time to try to keep the bad taste out of my mouth. It's kind of like a baking soda/metallic taste. One of the drugs is bright red in the IV bag, Adriamycin, it's even nicknamed the 'red devil' it's a bad one. Even makes me pee red! Weird huh?

I had my 2nd chemo July 5th, 2006. I am feeling worse this time than last. A little more upset stomach, very tired, very cranky and just no energy. The worst pain I have is mostly lower jaw pain which is a side effect of the Vinblastine drug. I have lots of sharp pains now and then and alot of dull all over pain. I can't sleep well from the steriods they have me on and from the night sweats which are a side effect of the cancer itself, not the chemo. I take tylenol pm almost every night, which helps.

The sink was full of hair this morning as I was brushing it, so I guess this is the beginning of going bald. I'm a bit depressed but knew this was coming. It's just sad.

Starting the battle...

Everyone thinks....that will never happen to me. Cancer is something other people get, not me. I didn't even know what Lymphoma was when the doctor told me. Well, you can bet, I sure know what it is now!

I was diagnosed with Lymphoma on May 26, 2006. After finding a large hard lump in my abdomen, I went to the doctor to have it checked out in April. I met with my OBGYN first, thinking it may be a cyst on an ovary since it was in the lower abdomen. After an ultrasound & a CAT scan, it was determined I definitely had a large mass in my abdomen but it was not on my ovary. The surgeon was not sure what it was but knew it had to come out since it was so large and causing me pain. He was very sure it was endometriosis, which wasn't a very big deal and could be treated easily. Well, as I awoke after surgery, I was informed it had been an enlarged lymph node and that meant I have Lymphoma! I thought, Lymphoma? But isn't that some kind of ...... Cancer?!