Our trip to Indianapolis Cancer Center yesterday to meet Dr. Robertson, a lymphoma specialists went well. He was very attentive, listened and gave it to us straight. We liked him alot.
However, the bad news is he didn't have many answers for us. First of all he says, less than 1% of all people diagnosed with cancer have Hodgkin's, then of those few people, only about 3% have Hodgkin's cancer in their abdomen, then of those it is unheard of to see it spread into the bone. Dr. Robertson said I am the only case he has ever seen to have broken out in hives.
So, since I have a very rare case of cancer, he said they have no other previous studies to compare me to. His suggestion was to have yet another biopsy on my right hip. This would be the 3rd this year. He wants a full open surgery where they slice my leg wide open so they can fully see what is going on in there. The orthopedic surgeon who took the last 4 bone core samples out of my hip during surgery last month, said there is no way my hip could withstand anymore coring.
So, our only other option is to 'wait & see.' He said we could wait another 8 weeks or so and have another PET scan & CT scan done to see if the hip area is still lighting up with abnormalities like it is now and see if it gets worse. The only bad thing he said with that is, if it is active cancer in my hip it will continue to spread during the waiting time, putting me at greater risk of being a more advanced stage when properly diagnosed.
Dr. Robertson is going to speak with my local oncologist, Dr. Browning today and discuss what they think should be done. Mark & I said, we would rather chose the 'wait & see' option if they think that is acceptable.
I will hear from Dr. Browning on their discussions today or tomorrow.
I want to thank my sister-in-law, Sandra for watching our boys for us all day yesterday while Mark & I were in Indianapolis. Thanks.
-----------------------------
slskenyon said...
"Wait and see" can be extraordinarily difficult when it comes to health. I must say that I have been captivated by your photo collage--I watched it long after I finished reading the post. You have had quite a journey, and you have a wonderful family.
from, skskenyon
6:25 PM
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
One year anniversary of my Cancer diagnosis
Memorial Day weekend last year, I was in the hospital undergoing surgery to supposedly remove a benign tumor in my abdomen.
As I awoke from the anesthesia, I was given the bad news that the doctor had been mistaken, it was cancer.
It's been a very, very rough year, for not only me but also my husband & sons.
In the last 12 months I've been through:
As I awoke from the anesthesia, I was given the bad news that the doctor had been mistaken, it was cancer.
It's been a very, very rough year, for not only me but also my husband & sons.
In the last 12 months I've been through:
- 4 surgeries (8 in my life so far)
- 12 horrible, horrible ABVD chemo treatments
- 13 radiation treatments
- 8 CT scans
- 3 PET scans
- 23 X-rays
- tons of excruciating pain
- one trip to the emergency room
- 3 hospitalizations
- Over 68 needle pokes
- lots of puking
- hair loss
- covered in scars
- and buried in medical bills .......but I'm still here!
I'm stronger, wiser, tougher, my faith is renewed, my friendships are deeper and my heart is overflowing with love, gratitude and thankfulness!
If I hadn't learned to fight and stay positive, I would have given up a long time ago and probably wouldn't be here now.
Faith, Love & Positive thinking can overcome most anything!
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Fred Walter said...
Mallory,
Good to see your post! I kept looking for one. Congratulations on another year. It is kind of strange to say that, or for some people it is. But, I know what you are talking about. I thank God every day for a new day and a chance to carry on. Faith, Love and Positive Thinking can truly overcome most everything. Some of my students think that money is most important. Others say that health is. I say "Love and friendship" are the most important. Love and friendship will get you through times with no money and poor health.
In these areas, Love and Friendship, you are blessed. And with these you have Faith. My second anniversary is coming in July. Can't recall the exact date. Still carrying on in Taiwan.
Your friend across the ocean in a little country called Taiwan, Fred
9:00 PM
Monday, May 07, 2007
Oncologist sending me to Indianapolis
We have had a very busy week! My dad's wedding was last Saturday, it went well and everyone had a good time. We especially loved visiting with our family who came in from Delaware & Ohio to stay with Mark & I for a few days.
Dr. Browning, my oncologist, is still not satisfied with my open biopsy results. The report stated that there were no signs of cancer, only benign lymphoma cells. The orthopedic surgeon who performed the surgery told us that my hip is very fragile and that I should be careful not to fall, put much weight on it or climb ladders ever again to keep it from fracturing.
The oncologist said I am too young to be having such degeneration in my hip and he wants to send me to Indianapolis Medical Center to be examined by a lymphoma specialists. My appt is June 11th (Me & Mark's anniversary, doesn't sound like a very romantic day, does it?).
Mark's last day of work is this friday. I think we will be ok. The Toyota employees who have lost their jobs will be able to receive unemployment until they can find a new job they said. It won't be much but will at least buy groceries.
We have to do what we can to make ends meet right now. I enjoy both my jobs so that's good. I still get to be home with my little boys and that's the most important thing to me. (the baby in this picture is my precious daycare baby, Edan)
Dr. Browning, my oncologist, is still not satisfied with my open biopsy results. The report stated that there were no signs of cancer, only benign lymphoma cells. The orthopedic surgeon who performed the surgery told us that my hip is very fragile and that I should be careful not to fall, put much weight on it or climb ladders ever again to keep it from fracturing.
The oncologist said I am too young to be having such degeneration in my hip and he wants to send me to Indianapolis Medical Center to be examined by a lymphoma specialists. My appt is June 11th (Me & Mark's anniversary, doesn't sound like a very romantic day, does it?).
Mark's last day of work is this friday. I think we will be ok. The Toyota employees who have lost their jobs will be able to receive unemployment until they can find a new job they said. It won't be much but will at least buy groceries.
We've received a lot of support from our family who were here visiting and they have been very generous in donating some funds to get us through the next couple months.
I've started my 2nd job as the Clerk-Treasurer for the town of Darmstadt. It's a job I can do from home, mostly in the evenings. Between the daycare during the day and the Clerk-Treasurer job in the evenings, I'll be busy, but it's worth it.
I've started my 2nd job as the Clerk-Treasurer for the town of Darmstadt. It's a job I can do from home, mostly in the evenings. Between the daycare during the day and the Clerk-Treasurer job in the evenings, I'll be busy, but it's worth it.
We have to do what we can to make ends meet right now. I enjoy both my jobs so that's good. I still get to be home with my little boys and that's the most important thing to me. (the baby in this picture is my precious daycare baby, Edan)
I have faith, I know things will work out for us, with the help of our wonderful family, friends and God!
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
HOME FROM HOSPITAL
The surgery went ok. I'm sore but not as bad as I thought I would be so that is a blessing! Dr. Spohr put me under anesthesia, had a tube down my throat and put me on a special hip fracture table where my right leg could be elevated and I could be on my side when Dr. Gary Moore, my orthopedic surgeon, drilled into my femur & trochanter. Here's an xray he gave me when he had the rod in my bone. 
I have stitches that will come out next week and alot of bruising but other than that it's ok. No big deal compared to the pain I've been thru before. :)
I have stitches that will come out next week and alot of bruising but other than that it's ok. No big deal compared to the pain I've been thru before. :)Here's some pictures of my 'sexy leg' ha ha. This whole cancer deal is just one ugly makeover after another. 
Won't I be attractive this summer in shorts! :)
Won't I be attractive this summer in shorts! :)I won't know the results until thursday when I meet with my oncologist, Dr. Browning.
Thanks for everyone's concern, emails & cards, I really appreciate it so much. I need all the encouragement I can get right now!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Mark lost his job, Toyota laying off 370 workers!!!!!
It's official. We knew it was coming, there had been rumors for weeks that another big layoff was in the works at Mark's job, but we had no idea it was THIS BIG! I'm sure many of you have seen it on the news and it was on the front page of the paper today that Toyota is getting rid of it's entire variable workforce of 370 people.
Mark said they will be getting rid of the people by department and that his will be one of the first. Mark was told his last day will be May 11th.
My surgery is next week, so at least we will still have health insurance for that. I'll be in Deaconess Hospital monday & tuesday.
MY GOD! I think I'm starting to break! Everyone always asks me how I've managed to hold myself together thru Mark's near death accident, over a month in ICU, the quarter million in medical bills, my current struggle with cancer, surgery, chemo, radiation, trying to take care of the kids, doing daycare to help pay the bills and now Mark losing his job and us losing our health insurance!
I think I've finally hit my breaking point.......
Mark said they will be getting rid of the people by department and that his will be one of the first. Mark was told his last day will be May 11th.
My surgery is next week, so at least we will still have health insurance for that. I'll be in Deaconess Hospital monday & tuesday.
MY GOD! I think I'm starting to break! Everyone always asks me how I've managed to hold myself together thru Mark's near death accident, over a month in ICU, the quarter million in medical bills, my current struggle with cancer, surgery, chemo, radiation, trying to take care of the kids, doing daycare to help pay the bills and now Mark losing his job and us losing our health insurance!
I think I've finally hit my breaking point.......
Monday, April 23, 2007
Pre-Testing for surgery today
I meet with Dr. Moore today, my orthopaedic surgeon. He is going to perform my open biopsy surgery next monday at Deaconess. My biopsy the week before last showed no definate signs of cancer, which was great news!
But the doctors are now saying that they still haven't solved the problem of what is going on in my hip. All the scans and previous biopsy show some abnormality & activity, but they don't know what it is yet. Dr. Browning, my oncologist, wants proof that it isn't cancer, just to be on the safe side.
So I'm back in surgery again! This will be regular surgery where they knock me out, the last biopsy I was awake the whole time & it wasn't a big deal compared to all my other surgeries.
Hopefully the surgery next monday will give proof that I have no active cancer! Hopefully, whatever is wrong with my hip is just some side effect of the radiation or something.
Let's keep our hopes up! :)
But the doctors are now saying that they still haven't solved the problem of what is going on in my hip. All the scans and previous biopsy show some abnormality & activity, but they don't know what it is yet. Dr. Browning, my oncologist, wants proof that it isn't cancer, just to be on the safe side.
So I'm back in surgery again! This will be regular surgery where they knock me out, the last biopsy I was awake the whole time & it wasn't a big deal compared to all my other surgeries.
Hopefully the surgery next monday will give proof that I have no active cancer! Hopefully, whatever is wrong with my hip is just some side effect of the radiation or something.
Let's keep our hopes up! :)
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Biopsy last friday
Hi friends & family, my home computer needed repair & upgraded so I put it in the shop on thursday and has been in since then. I just now got it back, so that's why I've been unable to email or update these last few days.
Last friday was my biopsy. I was told this would be a biopsy where I'd be asleep & they would take sufficient samples from my femur bone & surrounding tissue. When I went in friday, the doctor told me I'd be awake the whole time. It was called a 'skinny needle biopsy'. But there was nothing skinny about the straw sized T handled tool he used to drill down thru the top of my thigh into my femur on my right hip area. I could feel the pressure as the tool popped thru my layers of flesh on the way to my bone, yuck. Very painful in the beginning until the 3 numbing shots started to take effect. This was done on the Ct scanner platform so they could keep running me back and forth into the scanner while the big T handle was poking out of me, so the doctor could see inside my hip where he should be aiming.
Anyway, after all that, I was told no results until the following monday. So we went all weekend worrying. On monday, Mark, me and the boys all went to Dr. Browning's office together to hear the news. Well, still no more answers. The biopsy shows some 'lymphicite filtration' in the right trochanter (thats the bone under the hip, top of femur where all my trouble is). It also showed a small blood clot. These things weren't too serious but were of some concern to the doctor.
The main thing he said is there is definately some activity in my trochanter and the biopsy failed to prove wether it is or is not cancer. It's more likely that its not cancer he said, but they want proof.
Dr. Browning, my oncologist, sent me back to my radiation doctor, Mr. Miller for another opinion. So me, Mark & the boys headed across town to meet with him. He was concerned also. He reviewed all the tests, scans and biopsy and agrees with what Dr. Browning had said. They both also spoke with my Orthopedic Doctor, Mr. Moore and have all decided I need an "Open Biopsy."
An open biopsy is what I thought I was getting friday. It will be regular surgery in an operation room under anesthia (spelling?). The Doctor will make a larger incision than he did friday and retrieve larger fragments of my bone, bone marrow & tissue, in and around my trochanter.
I don't really understand how a larger piece is going to make a difference.
Anyway, the nurse called yesterday wanting to schedule surgery for next tuesday. I just told her I'd like to wait and think about it a couple days.
This is all so very frustrating for me and Mark. In the last couple weeks, I've had 2 ct scans, a PET scan (which took 5 hours), an MRI (which took 4 hours), 2 xrays, bloodwork done, urine tests and a biopsy with STILL NO definate ANSWERS??!!!!
The only good news is that my little baby Edan started daycare this week, I have him tues-fri. I was also hired as the new Clerk-Treasurer for the town of Darmstadt this week. They congratulated me after the town board meeting last tuesday evening, that I got the job! It's a job I can do from home. I am trying to help bring in enough income to cover us when Mark gets laid off.
I sure hope my health stays stable so I can keep these jobs.
Last friday was my biopsy. I was told this would be a biopsy where I'd be asleep & they would take sufficient samples from my femur bone & surrounding tissue. When I went in friday, the doctor told me I'd be awake the whole time. It was called a 'skinny needle biopsy'. But there was nothing skinny about the straw sized T handled tool he used to drill down thru the top of my thigh into my femur on my right hip area. I could feel the pressure as the tool popped thru my layers of flesh on the way to my bone, yuck. Very painful in the beginning until the 3 numbing shots started to take effect. This was done on the Ct scanner platform so they could keep running me back and forth into the scanner while the big T handle was poking out of me, so the doctor could see inside my hip where he should be aiming.
Anyway, after all that, I was told no results until the following monday. So we went all weekend worrying. On monday, Mark, me and the boys all went to Dr. Browning's office together to hear the news. Well, still no more answers. The biopsy shows some 'lymphicite filtration' in the right trochanter (thats the bone under the hip, top of femur where all my trouble is). It also showed a small blood clot. These things weren't too serious but were of some concern to the doctor.
The main thing he said is there is definately some activity in my trochanter and the biopsy failed to prove wether it is or is not cancer. It's more likely that its not cancer he said, but they want proof.
Dr. Browning, my oncologist, sent me back to my radiation doctor, Mr. Miller for another opinion. So me, Mark & the boys headed across town to meet with him. He was concerned also. He reviewed all the tests, scans and biopsy and agrees with what Dr. Browning had said. They both also spoke with my Orthopedic Doctor, Mr. Moore and have all decided I need an "Open Biopsy."
An open biopsy is what I thought I was getting friday. It will be regular surgery in an operation room under anesthia (spelling?). The Doctor will make a larger incision than he did friday and retrieve larger fragments of my bone, bone marrow & tissue, in and around my trochanter.
I don't really understand how a larger piece is going to make a difference.
Anyway, the nurse called yesterday wanting to schedule surgery for next tuesday. I just told her I'd like to wait and think about it a couple days.
This is all so very frustrating for me and Mark. In the last couple weeks, I've had 2 ct scans, a PET scan (which took 5 hours), an MRI (which took 4 hours), 2 xrays, bloodwork done, urine tests and a biopsy with STILL NO definate ANSWERS??!!!!
The only good news is that my little baby Edan started daycare this week, I have him tues-fri. I was also hired as the new Clerk-Treasurer for the town of Darmstadt this week. They congratulated me after the town board meeting last tuesday evening, that I got the job! It's a job I can do from home. I am trying to help bring in enough income to cover us when Mark gets laid off.
I sure hope my health stays stable so I can keep these jobs.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
I must be the definition of flexibility
Changes again ... Well, I was calling yesterday to double check on my surgery and insurance coverage and it's a good thing I did.
Come to find out, our insurance is the same company but they changed our in-network providers from Sagamore to Indiana Health Network as of April 1st (last week). Which I knew about and had already checked that my oncologist, Dr. Browning was still in-network for me and he is.
BUT, St. Mary's hospital is NOT!!!!! UGH! What awful news. So from now on, I have to go to Deaconess, which I have never been there for any treatment and Mark's Dad died there, so its just not a comfortable place for us.
Anyway, guess we'll have to get use to it, no other choice. Just be glad we have insurance, right?! :)
So, the surgery is CANCELLED for today and is now scheduled for friday at Deaconess! Which also messed up my daycare schedule for the girls I watch on friday. I felt so bad to have to call their mom and mess up her plans also on friday.
I'll post the results of my surgery as soon as I can. They should be able to tell me the same day if it's the cancer again that's eating up my hip or something else.
Come to find out, our insurance is the same company but they changed our in-network providers from Sagamore to Indiana Health Network as of April 1st (last week). Which I knew about and had already checked that my oncologist, Dr. Browning was still in-network for me and he is.
BUT, St. Mary's hospital is NOT!!!!! UGH! What awful news. So from now on, I have to go to Deaconess, which I have never been there for any treatment and Mark's Dad died there, so its just not a comfortable place for us.
Anyway, guess we'll have to get use to it, no other choice. Just be glad we have insurance, right?! :)
So, the surgery is CANCELLED for today and is now scheduled for friday at Deaconess! Which also messed up my daycare schedule for the girls I watch on friday. I felt so bad to have to call their mom and mess up her plans also on friday.
I'll post the results of my surgery as soon as I can. They should be able to tell me the same day if it's the cancer again that's eating up my hip or something else.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Back to St. Mary's for Biopsy Tuesday
After meeting with my oncologist monday, he sent me to the orthopedic doc tuesday. They both are concerned about the scan & xray results. They have talked and decided to send me for a trochanter biopsy.
I go into the hospital for surgery this Tuesday.
I go into the hospital for surgery this Tuesday.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Met with Dr. Browning
Dad took me today to see Dr. Browning (Mark was at work). Doc says the Mri & scan results definately show a questionable abnormality in my right hip. He says from what he sees he can still not determine if it's the cancer again or not at this time.
My hip is becoming increasly more sore. Doc is sending me to an orthopedic specialist to examine my hip bone, review the scans and then probably also schedule a biopsy at the hospital in the next few days.
It is so frustrating not knowing. I am stressing out, losing sleep & just generally worried like crazy. It seems like it takes forever for a diagnosis. Hopefully we will know more soon. I will keep everyone posted. Thanks for everyones concern & support.
My hip is becoming increasly more sore. Doc is sending me to an orthopedic specialist to examine my hip bone, review the scans and then probably also schedule a biopsy at the hospital in the next few days.
It is so frustrating not knowing. I am stressing out, losing sleep & just generally worried like crazy. It seems like it takes forever for a diagnosis. Hopefully we will know more soon. I will keep everyone posted. Thanks for everyones concern & support.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
2 YEARS AGO TODAY....
Two years ago today, March 31st, I got the heartbreaking call that Mark had been in a horrible automobile accident on his way to work that morning.
Doctors said they weren't sure if he would live. He had many surgeries, was in ICU for a MONTH and struggled for months in rehabilitation & physical therapy.
Well, today he is at his first fishing tournament of the year with his Bassmasters Club at Lake Malone and having a great time on this beautiful day.My Mom always said.... "when God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window".
All we can do is just keep pushing on.
Good news & Bad news....
GOOD NEWS....We officially have clean water as of today!! It's been 4 years of this dirty brown well water you see in this picture of my bathroom sink. We've had to brush our teeth, bathe & do laundry in this nasty water, but NO MORE!Today, Amy & Tim Spurling, sent their best guys from Spurling properties to run the water lines from the meter into our house. We have clean water now coming from the faucets! What a huge blessing! We want to sincerely thank Scott Elementary School PTA, Mrs. Janie Thomas, Kelly Vincent, Shannon Curtis, Tim & Amy Spurling and everyone else who had a hand in helping us get clean water!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
BAD NEWS....now, the bad news. I had a PET scan, CT scan & MRI all done this week. The results are not good. The doctor says there is 'activity and questionable abnormalities' again in my right hip area. This is bad.
My Dad & I are meeting with Dr. Browning monday to see what the next steps will be. I am praying to God, that I won't have to start chemo again already. It's only been about 3 months, whew! I thought I was just getting back on my feet again. Please help me pray it's not the cancer coming back already, Please God!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Not again ???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!....
The results of the PET & CT scan show signs of activity in my right hip again. Dr. Browning's nurse said, however, that the results are inconclusive, so they have decided to send me for more tests. I go back to the hospital tomorrow for an MRI. Hopefully, we will know something soon.
Please God, don't let it be the cancer coming back already. It's only been a few WEEKS. I don't know what to say, I think I'm still numb.
Please God, don't let it be the cancer coming back already. It's only been a few WEEKS. I don't know what to say, I think I'm still numb.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
PET scan today
Had another PET & CT scan done this morning at St. Mary's hospital. Glad it's over with. 
The PET scan alone, takes 1 1/2 hours. They inject me with a radioactive tracer substance that is in a scary looking, metal, incapsulated syringe. It has to circulate thru my body for 45 minutes before they can take the scan. The pet scan lasts about 30 minutes. The ct scan was much shorter.
Anyway, I should know the results tomorrow. Naturally I'm a bit scared, but overall I think it will be good news. I sure hope so anyway.
It's been 8 weeks since my last ct scan, 11 weeks since my last radiation & 14 weeks since chemo.
Please help me pray that it's good news tomorrow.
.
The PET scan alone, takes 1 1/2 hours. They inject me with a radioactive tracer substance that is in a scary looking, metal, incapsulated syringe. It has to circulate thru my body for 45 minutes before they can take the scan. The pet scan lasts about 30 minutes. The ct scan was much shorter. Anyway, I should know the results tomorrow. Naturally I'm a bit scared, but overall I think it will be good news. I sure hope so anyway.
It's been 8 weeks since my last ct scan, 11 weeks since my last radiation & 14 weeks since chemo.
Please help me pray that it's good news tomorrow.
.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Great time at Concert last night!
Mark & I went to see comedian Wayne Brady and country singers Big & Rich last night at Robert's Stadium. It was the annual concert hosted by Toyota for all it's employees. The place was packed and we had a great time. Wayne Brady was the best!!! He is SO clever & hilarious!He was awesome, had the whole place rolling!
We dressed the part for a 'country concert' and had on our cowboy hats. I also wore my wig after I had tried on my cowboy hat earlier without a wig and realized I looked more like Mark's brother than his wife!!! ha ha
We had so much fun!
Friday, March 16, 2007
Beautiful Day
It's a beautiful day today. My little daycare girls are here today and all the kids are having a great time playing outside on the swings!
I'm so glad things are getting better all the time for us. I love being with the kids, they are so much fun.
Tim Spurling came to visit yesterday, he's the nice man who's son is friends with Wade in kindergarten, he owns Spurling properties & has offered to get the water ran from the meter in the front yard, into our house, isn't that wonderful?! Him and his wife, Amy are such nice, generous people.
We also got a letter yesterday from St. Mary's Hospital, they said based on our income, that we qualified for financial aid and that they have wrote off our bill so far this year! Isn't that great?! We were getting worried, even after the insurance paid, we still owed a couple thousand, so they wrote it off, we are truly blessed!
I'm so glad things are getting better all the time for us. I love being with the kids, they are so much fun.
Tim Spurling came to visit yesterday, he's the nice man who's son is friends with Wade in kindergarten, he owns Spurling properties & has offered to get the water ran from the meter in the front yard, into our house, isn't that wonderful?! Him and his wife, Amy are such nice, generous people.
We also got a letter yesterday from St. Mary's Hospital, they said based on our income, that we qualified for financial aid and that they have wrote off our bill so far this year! Isn't that great?! We were getting worried, even after the insurance paid, we still owed a couple thousand, so they wrote it off, we are truly blessed!
Monday, March 12, 2007
Feeling Great!
I am feeling great finally! My memory & anxiety continues to slowly improve. My hair is coming in nicely. I've been laying low, mostly just working around the house & doing things with the kids.
It's been good for my soul.
A little quiet time just getting caught up on things & getting ready for spring. My body doesn't quite keep up with me like it used to, but I guess that's to be expected.
I'm just grateful to feel normal again! The boys & I spent alot of time at the playground today playing in the sand & making friends, it was a beautiful day!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Clean city water being installed today...
Today, the water department has started to run the water line extension to our property. They said they will be finished tomorrow and we will have a meter in our front yard! Yea!Then we just need to run the water from the meter into our home. I think the Spurlings, parents from Wade's school, offered to help us with that, so that will be nice. It's been 4 years of dirty, bacteria, well water. We can't wait to take a bath & brush our teeth in clean water! :) Thank you Scott Elementary School PTA!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Biopsy results are negative, no new cancer!
What a relief!!! The biopsy results were negative for any Lymphoma cells! Yea!! Dr. Hudson (dermatologist who took the biopsy) says more than likely I am just having a skin reaction to the dead cancer cells & chemo. Biopsy said it is a hive-like rash, it could last awhile he says, but I told him as long as it's not cancer, I can learn to live with it. Just so happy to hear it wasn't the cancer coming back!!! Thank you God!!!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Waiting for Biopsy results
The doctor took a biopsy out of the top of my hand last week where my rash was most active at the time. I won't get the results back until monday. Of course, we are all worried it's the cancer coming back but I try to stay positive.
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Hi Mal,
I love your blog!!!
It's fantastic to read, especially for those of us who've gone through treatment and suffered from the physical, mental, and emotional toll that comes with a cancer diagnosis.
I will hold your health in the most positive light and hope that the biopsy comes back negatory :-)
Best,
Kim (Izzydoesit from the HD forum)
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Hey Mal,
just wanted you to know that I still think of you every sigle day. I've been wanting to stop by for another visit but Cindy has had such a terrible cold for the last couple of weeks and we didn't want to spread it around. I'll pray Monday that you get good results. Sarah Mclachlan's song Angel means so much to me!!! I use to listen to it over and over during my battle and it gave me so much comfort. Music is such a wonderful thing, I'd be lost without it. Thanks for being such an inspiration to me and so many other's in our Cancer family. Remember I'm only a few month's from 3 years in remission from stage 4 Lymphoma. I still feel that it picked the wrong guy to try to beat. You'll always have support here.
Love, Hope and Inspiration.
Bobby S
--Posted by Bobby Schneider to Mallory's Journal at 2/18/2007 08:08:52 PM
-------------------------------------------------------
Hi Mal,
I love your blog!!!
It's fantastic to read, especially for those of us who've gone through treatment and suffered from the physical, mental, and emotional toll that comes with a cancer diagnosis.
I will hold your health in the most positive light and hope that the biopsy comes back negatory :-)
Best,
Kim (Izzydoesit from the HD forum)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey Mal,
just wanted you to know that I still think of you every sigle day. I've been wanting to stop by for another visit but Cindy has had such a terrible cold for the last couple of weeks and we didn't want to spread it around. I'll pray Monday that you get good results. Sarah Mclachlan's song Angel means so much to me!!! I use to listen to it over and over during my battle and it gave me so much comfort. Music is such a wonderful thing, I'd be lost without it. Thanks for being such an inspiration to me and so many other's in our Cancer family. Remember I'm only a few month's from 3 years in remission from stage 4 Lymphoma. I still feel that it picked the wrong guy to try to beat. You'll always have support here.
Love, Hope and Inspiration.
Bobby S
--Posted by Bobby Schneider to Mallory's Journal at 2/18/2007 08:08:52 PM
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Still Struggling...
Everyone always asks me, how I have made it thru all these terrible things in my life, how I've mangaged to hold myself together thru such tragedies. I never really know what to say.
Like many other people who have gone thru so many awful struggles, I just try to put a smile on my face & nod my head. But on the inside is a different story. I haven't made it thru without alot of damage.
Every morning I wake up, I see the damage on the outside of my body, all my missing hair, the 22lbs I've gained from chemo steroids, the chemo chemical scars on my torso & arms, the portacath sticking out of my chest, the surgery scars on my abdomen & chest, the rash that is now on my torso, neck & hands and I don't recognize the person in the mirror anymore. But I try to remember that I'm still alive and the outside of me will hopefully get better, my hair will grow back, I'll hopefully lose the weight, the portacath will hopefully come out this year, but the scars... will always be a painful reminder.
Just like the scars I carry on the inside. Only my doctor & closest friends know the mental struggles I've been facing, which seem to be getting worse instead of better. Since the chemo & radiation, I have lost much of my short term memory, my abilites to comprehend, concentrate, figure simple math, etc. have diminished. On top of this, understandably, is alot of depression & anxiety. I feel like I should have the right to feel sad & scared sometimes without having to feel guilty about it. It's hard to keep the tears bottled up ALL the time & a smile on my face for the sake of everyone around me.
I met with Dr. Browning again yesterday, he is so awesome, he really listens to me and works hard at finding solutions for my disease. He seems to think my anxiety & rash may be related. He gave me medicine for GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) & depression. He said it's no wonder with all I've been thru these the last 2 years. He's also worried the rash could be cancer related and wants me to have a biopsy done. Ugh! Just when I thought things were getting better & back to normal.
The only thing that brings me joy is being around children. We had a sleepover saturday night with all the boys. My nephews, Jack 13 & Jeremiah 8 months, came over to spend the night with Wade & Cody. I took the boys to the new Evansville Children's museum (again), they loved it! Then we came home made milkshakes & sundaes & pitched a tent in the living room to camp out in. The boys played and watched movies while I rocked little baby Jeremiah to sleep by the cozy fire. It was a wonderful evening with the kids. I just love children, they are so sweet, loving, happy & funny to be around, I guess that's what keeps me going, they make me forget all the harsh realities in life for a little while.
___________________________________________________
Insight from Ann on the Luekemia & Lymphoma message board, I can particularly relate to right now in my early post-treatment days:
Once in a while I read something that really rings true for me. I don't always feel that I can put my feeling in words but something I read recently, strikes a cord. It was an article in the New York Times Magazine written by a cancer survivor, Jenny Allen.(Feb. 4th,pg 88)
She stated, I am doing my best these days to stick to the script in which the cancer patient "bounces back" after successful treatment-not only bounces back but is returned to her family and friends in an improved version, a person flooded with gratitude and a refreshed love for life- but am not doing so with much conviction. I have learned that just as you are beginning to realize you have had this dreadful disease, everyone else is starting to forget it. It is like arriving at the end of an awful trip, craving the embrace of your loved ones and finding that they have all gone somewhere else.
http://ubb-lls.leukemia-lymphoma.org/ubb/Forum11/HTML/000283.html
I have had tremendous support from family and friends but really did feel very alone and scared when the treatment stopped. This board has been very helpful in finding other people going through the same thing.
Thanks!
Ann
Like many other people who have gone thru so many awful struggles, I just try to put a smile on my face & nod my head. But on the inside is a different story. I haven't made it thru without alot of damage.
Every morning I wake up, I see the damage on the outside of my body, all my missing hair, the 22lbs I've gained from chemo steroids, the chemo chemical scars on my torso & arms, the portacath sticking out of my chest, the surgery scars on my abdomen & chest, the rash that is now on my torso, neck & hands and I don't recognize the person in the mirror anymore. But I try to remember that I'm still alive and the outside of me will hopefully get better, my hair will grow back, I'll hopefully lose the weight, the portacath will hopefully come out this year, but the scars... will always be a painful reminder.
Just like the scars I carry on the inside. Only my doctor & closest friends know the mental struggles I've been facing, which seem to be getting worse instead of better. Since the chemo & radiation, I have lost much of my short term memory, my abilites to comprehend, concentrate, figure simple math, etc. have diminished. On top of this, understandably, is alot of depression & anxiety. I feel like I should have the right to feel sad & scared sometimes without having to feel guilty about it. It's hard to keep the tears bottled up ALL the time & a smile on my face for the sake of everyone around me.
I met with Dr. Browning again yesterday, he is so awesome, he really listens to me and works hard at finding solutions for my disease. He seems to think my anxiety & rash may be related. He gave me medicine for GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) & depression. He said it's no wonder with all I've been thru these the last 2 years. He's also worried the rash could be cancer related and wants me to have a biopsy done. Ugh! Just when I thought things were getting better & back to normal.
The only thing that brings me joy is being around children. We had a sleepover saturday night with all the boys. My nephews, Jack 13 & Jeremiah 8 months, came over to spend the night with Wade & Cody. I took the boys to the new Evansville Children's museum (again), they loved it! Then we came home made milkshakes & sundaes & pitched a tent in the living room to camp out in. The boys played and watched movies while I rocked little baby Jeremiah to sleep by the cozy fire. It was a wonderful evening with the kids. I just love children, they are so sweet, loving, happy & funny to be around, I guess that's what keeps me going, they make me forget all the harsh realities in life for a little while.
___________________________________________________
Insight from Ann on the Luekemia & Lymphoma message board, I can particularly relate to right now in my early post-treatment days:
Once in a while I read something that really rings true for me. I don't always feel that I can put my feeling in words but something I read recently, strikes a cord. It was an article in the New York Times Magazine written by a cancer survivor, Jenny Allen.(Feb. 4th,pg 88)
She stated, I am doing my best these days to stick to the script in which the cancer patient "bounces back" after successful treatment-not only bounces back but is returned to her family and friends in an improved version, a person flooded with gratitude and a refreshed love for life- but am not doing so with much conviction. I have learned that just as you are beginning to realize you have had this dreadful disease, everyone else is starting to forget it. It is like arriving at the end of an awful trip, craving the embrace of your loved ones and finding that they have all gone somewhere else.
http://ubb-lls.leukemia-lymphoma.org/ubb/Forum11/HTML/000283.html
I have had tremendous support from family and friends but really did feel very alone and scared when the treatment stopped. This board has been very helpful in finding other people going through the same thing.
Thanks!
Ann
Monday, January 29, 2007
Doing better
I'm so happy to be feeling 'normal' again! What a wonderful feeling. I am still fighting the rash but it's gotten better, still slowly spreading, mostly on my hands now, but not quite as fierce, thank goodness.
I met with Dr. Miller, my radiation doctor today and he said all looks good, he said I am cancer-free 'at the moment' and he keeps trying to tell me how things can change overnight and not to get my hopes up too much, but I still can't help but be HAPPY!
I met with Dr. Miller, my radiation doctor today and he said all looks good, he said I am cancer-free 'at the moment' and he keeps trying to tell me how things can change overnight and not to get my hopes up too much, but I still can't help but be HAPPY!
Mark's mom is still sore but doing much better since her accident. Mark has been working hard trying to get her a new car so she can get to work. He's such a good son. I hope my sons are that good to me when I'm older.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Mark's Mom in car accident...
Mark's mom was in a car accident last night, a lady pulled out and hit her head on, on her way home from work. The Sheriff' called me, her car was totaled. The ambulance took her to the emergency room. We stayed there with her for a few hours until they finally let her go home after a CT scan & xrays.
Linda is ok, she has some bumps, bruises and very sore neck and shoulders. Doctor said she won't be able to return to work till next week. Thank God she is ok.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Thank God for my little boys
Today was very busy!! I have been to doctors appointments and/or scans everyday this week, (my online cancer friends can relate to that I'm sure) :-)
Then I thought I'd have a day off today, I wanted to plan some special activities & crafts for my daycare kids who were coming early friday morning, but today ended up being the busiest of all!
The doctors office had a cancellation and wanted me to come in today, within an hour!
In the meantime, the news lady keeps calling me to set a time today for an interview..... then my stepmom 
keeps calling me about her wedding, the insurance lady calls, my hives are itching me like crazy & have now spread up my neck and on my hands.
keeps calling me about her wedding, the insurance lady calls, my hives are itching me like crazy & have now spread up my neck and on my hands. Whew!
I'm so glad Wade came home from school in time to go with me to the doctor's office. Wade is my best friend, he holds my hand when he knows I'm nervous or stressed, he helps calm me down & I love him so much for that.
He read cartoons for me while we waited in the doctors office, he even had to keep answering my cell phone, as it rang 4 more times, while I was being examined by the doctor. Wade is such a good little boy.
Ironically, Dr. Hudson told me the chemo rash/hives I have, can also be triggered or aggravated by stress, wow. (I've never had hives, it's so weird, I had no idea)
After a long day of the phone ringing, the doctor's appt, CVS for more prescriptions, 2 Television and newspaper interviews (one in the parking lot at Dr. Hudsons & then another interview at our house with Mark) and about 5 more phone calls this evening, I was just ready to relax with my two little boys.
We just decided to stop answering the phone & spend some alone time baking cookies together :-) My little boys are what keep me sane, when things get bad, I have them to love & hug on and you just can't ask for anything better :-)
Thank God for my little boys, my husband, family & friends. I wouldn't be able to make it thru this without ya'll! Thank you!
Thank God for my little boys, my husband, family & friends. I wouldn't be able to make it thru this without ya'll! Thank you!
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Kim says........ (Kim is from the Hodgkin's message board)
Loc: New York, NY
The Myth of the "Good" Cancer Patient
The Myth of the "Good" Cancer Patient
#292396 - 01/18/06 08:03 PM
I will preface this by saying that this is my personal point of view and not the opinion of this station . Since I seem to be having a difficult time of late relating how I feel to people who have not had cancer, I'm going to take this opportunity to squat and share here among my tribe. Maybe I'll find out I am just plain full of scat, in which case I will set aside 40 days to go alone into the desert to wrestle with God. Common sense tells us when catastrophe befalls us it's more productive to have a good attitude, to have gratitude, faith, hope, and lend a helping hand to those less fortunate. That's the ideal goal.
I will preface this by saying that this is my personal point of view and not the opinion of this station . Since I seem to be having a difficult time of late relating how I feel to people who have not had cancer, I'm going to take this opportunity to squat and share here among my tribe. Maybe I'll find out I am just plain full of scat, in which case I will set aside 40 days to go alone into the desert to wrestle with God. Common sense tells us when catastrophe befalls us it's more productive to have a good attitude, to have gratitude, faith, hope, and lend a helping hand to those less fortunate. That's the ideal goal.
Sometimes despite our best efforts, we fall short of this: we complain, feel sorry for ourselves, feel alone, that we've been dealt a hand we don't deserve. We may harbor resentments for those who've disappointed us, misunderstood us, avoided us, or even deserted us. This may lead us to isolate and fall into further despair.
What I'm learning--with much difficulty and pain--is that there are no extra points for being a "good" cancer patient; that is: patient, tolerant, accepting, cheerful, uplifted, courageous, willing to overcome any odds. Because of the example set by extraordinary individuals like Lance Armstrong, we may feel we've somehow failed if we fall short of that example, like we're being graded on how we get through cancer treatment and its aftermath. Have you ever said to yourself:
- Why is it taking me so long to get better?-
- Why don't I feel happier and more motivated now that treatment is finished?-
- Maybe I'm not trying hard enough-
- Maybe I should suffer in silence so I don't worry or upset those around me; besides, they're probably sick and tired of hearing about my cancer-
- It's so petty to care about my appearance, I should just be grateful to be alive-
- It's ok that my friends don't call as much anymore, I can't expect their lives to stop just because I got sick -
- I should be strong enough to deal with this and figure this out on my own-
- Something must be wrong/defective with me-
- Why can't I snap out of this depression and my negative attitude?
All those who answered no to all of the above are excused. For anyone who answered yes to even one of the above, consider this: you are not alone. In fact, you are NORMAL. The truth is, some of us will hardly bat an eye through treatment; will train for marathons, get married, have kids, go around the world (my onc had a patient who went to HK in the middle of chemo with no repercussions). Others will quit work immediately, feel sick, depressed, like the world is closing in on them.
Unfortunately, there's a lot of shame attached to a cancer diagnosis (we become "untouchable"); we feel shame around how we conduct ourselves through cancer treatment, shame about how we recover post-treatment. We are constantly judging ourselves the way we perceive others are judging us (aren't you well YET?). We're so exhausted by the whole experience of treatment as well as managing our personal and professional lives, that it never occurs to us that what we need to do most is take kind and loving care of ourselves.
We're so busy performing damage control on our relationships (which need plenty of shoring up!) that we don't see that the most important relationship in need of repair is the one with us. My new therapist (who specializes in post cancer treatment) said that it's OK to lick your wounds after treatment--for months, if necessary. There's pressure for the patient to get back to "normal" because it's more comfortable for those who're afraid of getting cancer. But the patient is the one who suffers most and who desperately needs compassion. Like the neglected child assumes responsibility for his parent's lack of attention, the cancer patient may assume responsibility for his illness and the repercussions it has on everyone around him. We're deathly sick and we worry about the trouble we're causing for everyone around us!
This insult, added to the injury of the disease, is too much for us to bear. We crumble, little by little. The challenge is to reclaim who we are. We can start by letting ourselves off the hook and giving ourselves the compassion we so desperately need. We can give ourselves permission to take as much time as we need to regain our health and our strength, permission to weep out loud at the loss of our hair, permission to curse God for how sick we feel. We can take back our power and dignity by talking out loud and without shame or apology about our illness or why we need help. It's not our fault we got cancer and there's nothing that says we're bad or defective if we don't conduct ourselves like Mother Teresa. (Even saints have their defects.) But we can't do this alone. Finding support groups (including this board) has been a lifeline out of the abyss for me. Four months out of tx and I'm only starting to piece together a recognizable map of where I've been. I encourage anyone in need of a guide to seek help from therapist who is trained in dealing with cancer issues. The relief you get in talking to someone who "gets it" and can offer suggestions and/or solutions is priceless.
Kim
--------------------
It's never too late to be what you might have been ~ George Eliot
Sub-clavicular biopsy of node 5-16-05
Dx: 5/23/05 NSHD 1A
4 cycles AVBD 6/23/05 - 9/29/05
Neupogen 5 days post-chemo starting 7/7/05
Clean PET 7/21/05
Clean PET 10/18/05
17-month check up 2/6/07 - still in remission
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Thank you
Good news... Wade's school PTA, has decided to donate money to help get us hooked up to city water!! I had no idea they even knew our situation! It was such a nice surprise when my friend Kelly called the other night after the PTA meeting, to let us know.
Wade's kindergarten teacher, has been a huge help to us, especially with drinking water & groceries!! Then, one of the parents in Wade's class, have been kind enough to get things rolling for us with the water hookup because he is an engineer! How wonderful is that?! They are doing all the calling for us and hopefully we can get hooked up soon. How nice! Thank you all!
Wade's kindergarten teacher, has been a huge help to us, especially with drinking water & groceries!! Then, one of the parents in Wade's class, have been kind enough to get things rolling for us with the water hookup because he is an engineer! How wonderful is that?! They are doing all the calling for us and hopefully we can get hooked up soon. How nice! Thank you all!
Monday, January 15, 2007
Ugly rash taking over...itch, itch, scratch, scratch
Cancer just refuses to go away without a fight! 
Now, the left side of my body is covered in a raised, extremely itchy, burning rash. It developed in the exact same areas where I had the bleomycin linear scars from chemo. Got another CT Scan to do in the morning.
I've been scanned SO many times now, I'm starting to feel like a barcode!!! :-)
Now, the left side of my body is covered in a raised, extremely itchy, burning rash. It developed in the exact same areas where I had the bleomycin linear scars from chemo. Got another CT Scan to do in the morning.
I've been scanned SO many times now, I'm starting to feel like a barcode!!! :-)
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Last Radiation- DONE!!!!
I got zapped yesterday for the last time! Everyday for the last 3 weeks (except weekends) and I'm finally done. I hope I never to see a radiation machine again! The nurses
even gave me a certificate yesterday, they are so super nice, check it out...Pretty cool, huh? I feel free again! I can finally get on with my life now.
It's been 8 MONTHS of:
- 1st Surgery to remove lymphnodes & appendix
- 2nd Surgery to insert portacath in chest (very painful, awake the whole time)
- Drilling a core of bone marrow from my back (very, very painful)
- Taking countless blood draws from my arm (ouch!)
- Colonoscopy (yuck)
- Several CT Scans, PET scans & XRAYS (CT & PET scans means more needles!)
- 1 trip to Emergency room in excrutiating pain that resulted in 5 days being hospitalized with a tube up my nose while my stomach was pumped.
- 12 rounds of horrible chemo every 2 weeks for 4 hours at a time followed by 9 days of pain, puking & exhaustion.
- 12 rounds of radiation being zapped into my belly & hip everyday which the doctor tells me will greatly increase my chances of getting a 2nd cancer! Ironic!
ALL THIS TO HOPEFULLY HAVE SAVED MY LIFE! It was worth it to hear the news that I am cancer free! As you know, there is no cure for Hodgkin's so I will continued to be monitored the rest of my life. I will go back to see the doc every 3 months and then every 6 months and so on. He says the cancer is more likely to come back within the first 2 years, so if I can make it past then, I'll have pretty good chances of making it! Let's HOPE! :)
I try to stay positive through it all and I know the tragic events that have occured in my life have only made me stronger and made me the person I am today. What keeps me going is what my mom used to always say, "Remember, there is always someone worse off than you" and "When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window."
I am grateful to still be alive and be able to be a mom, wife, daughter, sister, cousin, niece, granddaughter, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law, step-sister, step-daughter and friend to all those who mean the most to me.
All in all, I've still got a wonderful life!
One of my favorite songs is "Life Ain't always Beautiful" by Gary Allen.
Life Ain't Always beautiful, but it's a Beautiful ride!
___________________________________________
Mallory I'm so happy to hear this wonderful news!!!! It's just exactly the way that I've been praying that it would turn out. Your story has and will continue to touch and give inspiration to so many more people out there along the way. I truthfully believe that Faith, wonderful doctors and medicine, supportive family, supportive friends and last but not least THE WILL TO NEVER GIVE UP are the steps to becoming a Genuine Survivor. Thanks from a Fellow Survivor for the hope and inspiration that you have shown during your battle. I couldn't be more proud of you for the way that you handled it.
Best Wishes, Bobby S.
Mallory, what wonderful news! I am so happy that all of those treatments are over and your cancer is gone. I admire you so much for your bravery and positive outlook. So many prayers were being said for you and God heard and answered them all. Keep your positive thoughts. I am glad we got to meet you, even though it was a short visit. Hopefully we can get together soon.
Love and prayers, Jan
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Happy New Year
Hope everyone had a good Christmas. We did! We had a great time with our families for Christmas. I'm still working on all the thank you's I need to send out! We just got home from radiation #7 today. I'm a bit nauseous, but ok for the most part. I've started drinking Boost & Ensure and I think it helps. They took more xrays today, not sure why, just checking to make sure they aren't turning my insides to mush I guess.
So far so good, still breathing, will be so happy when completely finished and I don't have to see that nasty cancer building everyday. I will also be so happy to get this port device taken out of my chest, it's become very itchy and bothersome.
Happy New Year, Let's hope next year is WAY better!
Friday, December 22, 2006
Radiation EVERYDAY...
I began radiation on tuesday and I go everyday now until about Jan 4th. I don't have to go on weekends. The radiation itself is a little scary but not near as horrible as chemo was. When I walk into the radiation room, the scariest thing was not the radiation machine, but actually the door to the room!
It hit me how very serious radiation was when I saw the 8" thick steel door with the radiation warning signs all over it and a huge locking mechanism on it. The nurses walk you in, set you up on the table, line up the lasers that are on
all four walls of the room with all the marks they have put on my body, then they leave the room. They close the huge 'bank vault' door behind them, the alarm goes off and the radiation begins, it only takes about 2 minutes as the machine zaps me from the top and then flips upside down to zap me from the bottom. Thankfully, I can't feel anything except vibrations.I've done 3 so far, go in today for #4 and I've noticed it causes extreme fatigue and just a little stomach queezyness.
I'm glad it's almost over and I hope I never have to go through any of this again. This has been a VERY, VERY rough 7 months of my life, but I just thank GOD I still HAVE my life!.............. I have alot to be thankful for this Christmas!
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Start Radiation Monday
Mark and I met with the Radiation doctor, on Wednesday. He told us the PET scan showed "No Evidence of Cancer!" That's awesome! I still have to have radiation though. The PET scans are not 100% accurate and Dr. explained how with Hodgkin's Disease, you have to hit it really hard the first time and make sure you kill it all, because it has a high comeback rate. He also told us that Hodgkin's has a high likelyhood of causing a second cancer to develop, usually Acute Leukemia, a non-hodgkin's lymphoma or hematologic malignancies.
I have good news though.....Doc said I will only need about 12-13 radiation treatments instead of the 30 they originally were talking about so thats great! I have to go everyday except weekends and should be done by Jan 4th. Yea!!! Hope everyone is getting ready for a wonderful Christmas! :)
slskenyon said...
I am so glad to hear that you will have to undergo only a fraction of the treatments that you originally thought you would have to. I admire your ability to see this as a "process" you are going through, and I must say that you really are taking things one day at a time, one milestone at a time.
1:05 PM
Bobby S said...
Hey Mallory, thats the news that I have been waiting to hear from you. How wonderful and I couldn't be happier for you. See now that the sky is beginning to lighten from that storm that I talked about. Your Awesome girl. A Genuine inspiration to all. The way that you are fighting this will help so many others and touch alot of lives along the way. You go girl. Your friend Bobby Schneider
4:23 PM
Anne said...
Good luck on your radiation! I'm going to get radiation number 9 today and then 5 more to go! Your blog is very helpful and I would like to link to it if you don't mind. Keep the faith and best wishes to you and your family.Sincerely,Anne
9:31 AM
Fred in Taiwan said...
Thanks be to God! Mallory, you are a real trooper and I had faith that you would come through this! What a wonderful Christmas present and a great way to start the New Year! Bless you all!
11:22 PM
I have good news though.....Doc said I will only need about 12-13 radiation treatments instead of the 30 they originally were talking about so thats great! I have to go everyday except weekends and should be done by Jan 4th. Yea!!! Hope everyone is getting ready for a wonderful Christmas! :)
slskenyon said...
I am so glad to hear that you will have to undergo only a fraction of the treatments that you originally thought you would have to. I admire your ability to see this as a "process" you are going through, and I must say that you really are taking things one day at a time, one milestone at a time.
1:05 PM
Bobby S said...
Hey Mallory, thats the news that I have been waiting to hear from you. How wonderful and I couldn't be happier for you. See now that the sky is beginning to lighten from that storm that I talked about. Your Awesome girl. A Genuine inspiration to all. The way that you are fighting this will help so many others and touch alot of lives along the way. You go girl. Your friend Bobby Schneider
4:23 PM
Anne said...
Good luck on your radiation! I'm going to get radiation number 9 today and then 5 more to go! Your blog is very helpful and I would like to link to it if you don't mind. Keep the faith and best wishes to you and your family.Sincerely,Anne
9:31 AM
Fred in Taiwan said...
Thanks be to God! Mallory, you are a real trooper and I had faith that you would come through this! What a wonderful Christmas present and a great way to start the New Year! Bless you all!
11:22 PM
Monday, December 11, 2006
Good News!
Results of the PET scan are in..............Good News, all the lymph nodes are shrank back down! (is shrank a word? ha ha) They said it looked good! I haven't talked to the doctor yet, it was the secretary that called, so I still have some questions. But I'm guessing that means no cancer in my lymph nodes and that it's only in my hip now, but I'll find out more on Wednesday when I meet with the radiation doctor. But so far, that's good news! That means all the horrible 'Drano' they pumped in me for the last 6 months was worth it and it worked!!! Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
PET scan today
I'm going in for a PET & CT scan today. I won't know the results for a couple days. I meet with the radiation doctor next week & then suppose to start radiation treatments right after Christmas. Dr. said it will be around 20-30 rounds of radiation he guesses, it's up to the radiation doctor to decided for sure. Hopefully that will work and get the cancer out of my hip bone. I can feel it ache when I lay on my right side in bed.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
One of those days....
Couldn't sleep again last night, all the steroids (prednisone & decadron) they give me in my chemo keep me up alot and the bad thing is I'm SOOO tired. Weird.
The pain in my neck & shoulders started this afternoon and just would not let up. The weird
scratch looking bruises have spread from my left side all the way up my shoulder and on my back now. Here's a picture of my shoulder, you can see it looks like I've been scratched really bad. If any of my cancer message board friends are reading this, let me know if you've also had these weird markings on you after chemo. I heard that it's the tissue bleeding & burning on the inside out from the chemo drugs. I don't know.
The pain in my neck & shoulders started this afternoon and just would not let up. The weird
scratch looking bruises have spread from my left side all the way up my shoulder and on my back now. Here's a picture of my shoulder, you can see it looks like I've been scratched really bad. If any of my cancer message board friends are reading this, let me know if you've also had these weird markings on you after chemo. I heard that it's the tissue bleeding & burning on the inside out from the chemo drugs. I don't know.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
DONE WITH CHEMO!!! YEA!
Chemo can kiss my you know what!! :) I still have a few days of sickness ahead of me but hopefully by next week I will start to feel like a human again! I'm so glad it's over with. Mark went with me to my last chemo and he laid in the hospital bed with me for the few hours till it was done, just happy it was our last one! Sandra came over to babysit the boys for us that day so that was nice!
We've been gettin' ready for Christmas, I'm really looking forward to it now that I know I won't be sick. Dr. said we may be able to cut the radiation down to 20 treatments but we won't know for sure until I meet with the radiation doctor in a couple weeks. I go in for a PET scan next week, that is the test that will show wether or not all this chemo did it's job, so I'll be nervous about that until the tests come back.
Workin' on gettin' my xmas cards out in the meantime! :)
Bobby said....
Hey Mal, excellent news about your LAST Chemo. Yes now you'll get to feeling a little better every week and before you know it all of the hard times will be behind you. PET scans are a real breeze and the two ladies that did mine were really nice at St. Marys. I look forward to hear some really good news from you about your results. I spent most of Christmas 03 in bed with horrible pain, so Christmas 04 and 05 and now especially 06 will really be special for me. I'm proud of you for your stamina during the hard times and you are a genuine inspiration to me and to all. Your in my prayers everyday my dear friend. Till next time Bobby Schneider
We've been gettin' ready for Christmas, I'm really looking forward to it now that I know I won't be sick. Dr. said we may be able to cut the radiation down to 20 treatments but we won't know for sure until I meet with the radiation doctor in a couple weeks. I go in for a PET scan next week, that is the test that will show wether or not all this chemo did it's job, so I'll be nervous about that until the tests come back.
Workin' on gettin' my xmas cards out in the meantime! :)
Bobby said....
Hey Mal, excellent news about your LAST Chemo. Yes now you'll get to feeling a little better every week and before you know it all of the hard times will be behind you. PET scans are a real breeze and the two ladies that did mine were really nice at St. Marys. I look forward to hear some really good news from you about your results. I spent most of Christmas 03 in bed with horrible pain, so Christmas 04 and 05 and now especially 06 will really be special for me. I'm proud of you for your stamina during the hard times and you are a genuine inspiration to me and to all. Your in my prayers everyday my dear friend. Till next time Bobby Schneider
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Last chemo tomorrow (Hopefully ever!)
I am so nauseous today just thinking about going in tomorrow. It's strange how your mind can do that to you. I was fine yesterday. I also am starting to realize how noone really understands all of this except for other survivors who have been through this. I feel so alone sometimes, when I try to talk to my family or friends about my treatments and fears, they usually change the subject or cut me short. It's strange.
My friend, Bobby Schneider, who is also a survivor, gave me Lance Armstrong's book about his battle with cancer, it has helped me so much and I try to read a little each night. Alot of the times it's not things I want to hear though. Like last night, I read the part about radiation since mine is starting soon & I don't know much about it. Lance said that the radiation causes permanent circulatory system damage and effects your balance. Great! More damage, bring it on! By the time all this is done, I'm gonna feel like one of those wrecked cars my husband is always working on, "it's totaled but is still driveable, they'll say." ha ha!
I know I don't show it and I try to keep alot inside because I don't want to burden anyone, but sometimes I really need to talk. Cancer, chemo & radiation all are very serious and very, very terrible, awful, sickening, frightening, super traumatic things. It's not like I am just going in for surgery or something, it's much, much worse than surgery, I know, I've had 5, they are a piece of cake compared to this chemo nightmare. I have no control over my brain function half the time, I am continuously short of breath now, I can't do as much as I used to, the left side of my body is all brown stains now from the chemo chemicals eating up my insides, the portacath and wire inside my chest is always itching, pulling and aching and this 'fear of chemo syndrome' (aka anticipatory nausea) has taken over, I bawled as soon as I saw the chemo room last treatment. Luckily my good friend Rusty was with me and Dr. Browning to try to calm me down and get me settled with alot of sedatives. There is just so much yucky junk that happens to your body besides the incredible nausea and pain that you see on TV. It's all this other stuff that noone tells you about. So I am telling all of you, all the lymphoma patients I have met on the Hodgkin's message boards. I wish someone had told me all this stuff.
It's also all incredibly depressing, especially since there is no cure! I find myself always wondering if these treatments are going to work, if it does, will it come back, how many ct scans am I going to have to endure in my life, for the rest of my life. Until a cure is found, my cancer monster will always be over my shoulder. Always taunting me, never letting me forget.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
PLEASE CLICK ON THIS LINK & TURN UP YOUR SPEAKERS, THIS SAYS IT ALL.........
--Eleanor Roosevelt
My friend, Bobby Schneider, who is also a survivor, gave me Lance Armstrong's book about his battle with cancer, it has helped me so much and I try to read a little each night. Alot of the times it's not things I want to hear though. Like last night, I read the part about radiation since mine is starting soon & I don't know much about it. Lance said that the radiation causes permanent circulatory system damage and effects your balance. Great! More damage, bring it on! By the time all this is done, I'm gonna feel like one of those wrecked cars my husband is always working on, "it's totaled but is still driveable, they'll say." ha ha!
I know I don't show it and I try to keep alot inside because I don't want to burden anyone, but sometimes I really need to talk. Cancer, chemo & radiation all are very serious and very, very terrible, awful, sickening, frightening, super traumatic things. It's not like I am just going in for surgery or something, it's much, much worse than surgery, I know, I've had 5, they are a piece of cake compared to this chemo nightmare. I have no control over my brain function half the time, I am continuously short of breath now, I can't do as much as I used to, the left side of my body is all brown stains now from the chemo chemicals eating up my insides, the portacath and wire inside my chest is always itching, pulling and aching and this 'fear of chemo syndrome' (aka anticipatory nausea) has taken over, I bawled as soon as I saw the chemo room last treatment. Luckily my good friend Rusty was with me and Dr. Browning to try to calm me down and get me settled with alot of sedatives. There is just so much yucky junk that happens to your body besides the incredible nausea and pain that you see on TV. It's all this other stuff that noone tells you about. So I am telling all of you, all the lymphoma patients I have met on the Hodgkin's message boards. I wish someone had told me all this stuff.
It's also all incredibly depressing, especially since there is no cure! I find myself always wondering if these treatments are going to work, if it does, will it come back, how many ct scans am I going to have to endure in my life, for the rest of my life. Until a cure is found, my cancer monster will always be over my shoulder. Always taunting me, never letting me forget.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
PLEASE CLICK ON THIS LINK & TURN UP YOUR SPEAKERS, THIS SAYS IT ALL.........
it's only a minute or two long.
Please send it to anyone else you know who if fighting this horrible disease!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
--Eleanor Roosevelt
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
We are so Thankful!!!!
We want to thank everyone for the generous donations we have received for Thanksgiving! Wade's kindergarten teacher, her husband & his men's bible study group, generously brought us groceries last weekend! It was so wonderful! They even brought me a bunch of Ensure to help me get well. Thank you so much!!!
This monday, Mr. Cole's 4th grade class so generously gathered groceries and BuyLow gift cards for us for Thanksgiving! We are so grateful! I want to thank my friends Shannon & Kelly for their thoughtfulness in nominating us as a family to help this holiday season. Thank you!!!!!!
We are so blessed to know such wonderful people and to call you our friends! Thank you all so much for your kindness.
You have shown us the spirit of Thanksgiving!
We are truly THANKFUL! God Bless you all!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shannon said...
Hi Mallory,
You are so sweet to copy me on the wonderful e-mails that you send. The people at Scott school are truly wonderful and I am so glad to read about their generosity! What an amazing group of people! It's great that the groceries, etc. that they have provided are such a help to you and your family. You certainly deserve it!
You're an inspiration, Mallory. You really are. Cancer picked the wrong person to mess with when it picked you. You trust the Lord and you're a fighter... you will beat this and overcome it just like you have the other obstacles set before you.
I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving.
Much love,
Shannon
This monday, Mr. Cole's 4th grade class so generously gathered groceries and BuyLow gift cards for us for Thanksgiving! We are so grateful! I want to thank my friends Shannon & Kelly for their thoughtfulness in nominating us as a family to help this holiday season. Thank you!!!!!!
We are so blessed to know such wonderful people and to call you our friends! Thank you all so much for your kindness.
You have shown us the spirit of Thanksgiving!
We are truly THANKFUL! God Bless you all!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shannon said...
Hi Mallory,
You are so sweet to copy me on the wonderful e-mails that you send. The people at Scott school are truly wonderful and I am so glad to read about their generosity! What an amazing group of people! It's great that the groceries, etc. that they have provided are such a help to you and your family. You certainly deserve it!
You're an inspiration, Mallory. You really are. Cancer picked the wrong person to mess with when it picked you. You trust the Lord and you're a fighter... you will beat this and overcome it just like you have the other obstacles set before you.
I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving.
Much love,
Shannon
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Very Bad Day yesterday....
My cousin, Tita, passed away this morning. I have obviously been very upset. As we have grown close in these last few months while fighting the same kind of cancer. The family is making funeral arrangements now. She will be buried in the Locklin (my mom's maiden name) Cemetary with the rest of the family we've lost. Please keep her husband & young daughter in your prayers.
I finished chemo #11 with alot of tears, fear and frustration. Dr. Browning said all my counts were very low right now, white blood cells, red blood cells, hemoglobin..... I was given a shot to try to boost my red blood cells and was also put back on antibiotics, yet again, for my super low white blood count since that makes my immune system nearly nothing.
Dr. Browning told me I have 30 rounds of radiation to look forward to!!! Every single day for 30 days I will receive radiation of my cancer infected right hip! Ugh!
Thank you everyone who has been sending words of encourgement, cards, prayers, groceries, etc. It is MOST appreciated!
Bobby Schneider said...
My Dearest Mallory, I was deeply saddened to hear about the loss of your cousin Tita. Your family has been through so much that it just tears my heart out. I'll always wonder why some people ride down lifes highway on cruise control and others have to take that winding, hilly and bumpy road. I pray for you, Mark and your family every single day just minutes after I awake. I treasure the day that we met and consider you a close friend and genuine inspiration to all. My diagnosis of stage 4 Lymphoma was 3 years ago and even though it was an up hill battle most of the time, I'm doing very well now and I'm 100% certain that you will be too just down the road. Remember that Cindy and I will always be there for you guys. Love, your friend Bobby Schneider
holly strange said...
Mallory & (Mark and boys),There are several people in Corydon praying for you. Keep your head up and keep praying. The website is a wonderful way to keep us posted. Thank you for sharing.
We love you all!!
Holly Strange
I finished chemo #11 with alot of tears, fear and frustration. Dr. Browning said all my counts were very low right now, white blood cells, red blood cells, hemoglobin..... I was given a shot to try to boost my red blood cells and was also put back on antibiotics, yet again, for my super low white blood count since that makes my immune system nearly nothing.
Dr. Browning told me I have 30 rounds of radiation to look forward to!!! Every single day for 30 days I will receive radiation of my cancer infected right hip! Ugh!
Thank you everyone who has been sending words of encourgement, cards, prayers, groceries, etc. It is MOST appreciated!
Bobby Schneider said...
My Dearest Mallory, I was deeply saddened to hear about the loss of your cousin Tita. Your family has been through so much that it just tears my heart out. I'll always wonder why some people ride down lifes highway on cruise control and others have to take that winding, hilly and bumpy road. I pray for you, Mark and your family every single day just minutes after I awake. I treasure the day that we met and consider you a close friend and genuine inspiration to all. My diagnosis of stage 4 Lymphoma was 3 years ago and even though it was an up hill battle most of the time, I'm doing very well now and I'm 100% certain that you will be too just down the road. Remember that Cindy and I will always be there for you guys. Love, your friend Bobby Schneider
holly strange said...
Mallory & (Mark and boys),There are several people in Corydon praying for you. Keep your head up and keep praying. The website is a wonderful way to keep us posted. Thank you for sharing.
We love you all!!
Holly Strange
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Please Pray for my cousin Tita
My cousin, Tita, also has Lymphoma. She has been battling it very hard these last few months at M. D. Anderson hospital in Houston.
I was told last night that the hospital has sent her home, theres no more they can do for her. Her husband was generous enough to charter her a plane to get her back home to Wichita Falls the quickest and most comfortable way.
We have been told she only has a matter of hours left.
Please pray for her, her husband and their young daughter.
I was told last night that the hospital has sent her home, theres no more they can do for her. Her husband was generous enough to charter her a plane to get her back home to Wichita Falls the quickest and most comfortable way.
We have been told she only has a matter of hours left.
Please pray for her, her husband and their young daughter.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
11th chemo tomorrow
I go in for chemo #11 tomorrow. They are getting so much harder towards the end. I get so sick just thinking about going. I cry alot now, I think a little depression is kicking in. Chemo is such a devastating thing to your mind and body. Feels like your being poisoned to death slowly.
My good friend & next door neighbor, Rusty, is taking me again to my chemo treatment. I get so sick now that they have to sedate me during the few hours while the IV poison in being pumped into me. I can't drive home. Rusty is such a good friend, he's been through alot in his life medically too so I think he is very understanding of my disease. Mark said he will go with me to my last chemo. It's hard for him to go with me because he works the night shift and needs to sleep sometime and chemo treatments usually last from 9:30am to 2pm or so.
My sister-in-laws, mother-in-law and me all went away last weekend to stay in a cabin in the woods by Patoka Lake. We had such a nice time. It was just what I needed, to get away from the hubby, kids and housework, relax & not be reminded by anything of my disease. We just talked, sat in the hot tub, acted silly and laughed alot.
Sunday night on Extreme Home Makeover, they featured a family in St. Meinrad, Indiana that was so similiar to us. The wife has cancer, they have small children & a little boy who reminded me of my little boy Cody. The wife's mother also had breast cancer and survived. My mom had Lou Gehrig's disease but didn't survive, she died just 4 days after my high school graduation.
Fred said...
Mallory,
This morning when I got you email I was so happy to receive it. Thank you for taking the time to write. I have been in Taiwan almost four years and rarely hear from the old gang. Of course, I don't have all their email addresses so they don't have mine. I then went to you blog and cried. Luckily a friend of mine was here to embrace me. I am so sorry that you are going through the pain that you are and pray that it works for you. Regarding my cancer, I am living with it. I have no pain. I am doing Ren Dian, acupuncture, Qi Gong (ChiGong), and herbal medicine. I am avoiding the Western medicine. I am a bad patient and don't always follow the doctor's advice. But, I am happy and have a good attitude. That is most important. Keep the faith, honey. Pray and you will make it. I once again thank you for sending the video about "I Have Cancer, but Cancer Does Not Have Me". It has been an inspiration to me. Thank you for all your sharing and may God bless you and yours!
Yours from Taiwan,
Fred
Saturday, November 04, 2006
10th chemo down, 2 more to go
I just had my 10th chemo last wednesday. It was pretty bad, I still ended up getting sick a couple times. I had the doc give me extra sedatives to knock me out, that worked for about 1 1/2 hours of it.
My good friend, Rusty, who lives next door, went with me. He kept me company during chemo and picked up Cody for me from Sandra's house, she had babysat him all day for me.
I felt awful that evening, very sick and nauseous, so Rusty even stayed and watched the boys for me while I slept on the couch. That was really nice.
I've been pretty nauseous again this time. I just keep trying to remember I'm almost done!
Doc is sending me for a pulmunary test next week to check my lungs. One of the chemicals in the chemo cocktail they give me is Bleomycin which is very damaging to the lungs, so I've got to get checked out.
My good friend, Rusty, who lives next door, went with me. He kept me company during chemo and picked up Cody for me from Sandra's house, she had babysat him all day for me.
I felt awful that evening, very sick and nauseous, so Rusty even stayed and watched the boys for me while I slept on the couch. That was really nice.
I've been pretty nauseous again this time. I just keep trying to remember I'm almost done!
Doc is sending me for a pulmunary test next week to check my lungs. One of the chemicals in the chemo cocktail they give me is Bleomycin which is very damaging to the lungs, so I've got to get checked out.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Abdominal Pain has become way of life...
The Abdominal pain just never ceases now. It's a constant, irritating reminder of my illness & intestinal problems from previous surgeries. Seems like no matter what I do I can't break free from it. I feel like a prisoner in 'pain & nausea penitentiary.'
The only thing keeping me going is the events I have to look forward to in our life. We are having our big annual Halloween Party this Saturday which I certainly hope the pain will subside a few hours for.
Then, my birthday is on Monday the 30th. Then I have been looking forward to taking the boys trick or treating on Halloween night.
Without these things to keep my mind occupied and me busy getting prepared for, I think I'd sit in my recliner all day and just go nuts feeling sorry for myself. So it's good I have my family & friends to think about and look forward to doing things with.
The only thing keeping me going is the events I have to look forward to in our life. We are having our big annual Halloween Party this Saturday which I certainly hope the pain will subside a few hours for.
Then, my birthday is on Monday the 30th. Then I have been looking forward to taking the boys trick or treating on Halloween night.
Without these things to keep my mind occupied and me busy getting prepared for, I think I'd sit in my recliner all day and just go nuts feeling sorry for myself. So it's good I have my family & friends to think about and look forward to doing things with.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Worst Chemo yet
I had the worst case of anticipatory nausea yesterday during my 9th chemo. I was extremely nauseous and miserable. I ended up puking twice while I was receiving the chemo. The nausea still hasn't subsided. I am on every type of nausea medicine possible and I still haven't been able to get off the couch since yesterday. I am also very exhausted & tired due to low blood count.
I have extremely low white blood cell count again and this time Doc said I have also become anemic.
I wasn't sure exactly what anemia was so I looked it up:
Anemia is related to a decrease in the number of red blood cells and amount of hemoglobin (a protein that helps your blood carry oxygen). This in turn results in your blood being unable to carry oxygen throughout your body as well as it should. Cancer-related anemia can be caused by many factors, including chemotherapy, radiation therapy, iron deficiency, blood loss, the cancer itself, or a combination of these or other factors.
I have extremely low white blood cell count again and this time Doc said I have also become anemic.
I wasn't sure exactly what anemia was so I looked it up:
Anemia is related to a decrease in the number of red blood cells and amount of hemoglobin (a protein that helps your blood carry oxygen). This in turn results in your blood being unable to carry oxygen throughout your body as well as it should. Cancer-related anemia can be caused by many factors, including chemotherapy, radiation therapy, iron deficiency, blood loss, the cancer itself, or a combination of these or other factors.
Anemia can make you feel fatigued or extremely tired. It may also have the following symptoms:
*Difficulty in thinking (cognitive dysfunction)
*Dizziness and weakness
*Shortness of breath with mild exertion
*Pale skin
*Rapid heartbeat
*Feeling cold all the time
*Loss of sex drive
*Depression
I guess this explains the miserableness & tiredness. This also explains my embarrassment a few days ago when I was at the store. I counted the items up in my cart and calculated about $40 worth of stuff, when I checked out, it rang up at $90 worth of stuff. I didn't believe the clerk and had him show me the receipt. Sure enough it was me, I couldn't calculate correctly in my head! I had to have him put half of the stuff back, very embarrassing. This difficulty in thinking and not being able to do simple math in my head is happening more and more often, pretty scary!
Friday, October 13, 2006
Lost my voice
Well, even after all my handwashing and everyone else being careful around me not to get me sick.....I got sick anyway. I've got a pretty bad cold & sore throat now and have totally lost my voice! Doc sent me out right away tonight to get on antibiotics.
I had to write a message with my name and give it to the lady at CVS so I could get my medicine, that was strange. Felt like I was holding up a bank, handing them a note.
The boys like it because I can't yell at them, ha ha! :-) Actually it's amazing how much better the kids listen to me when I can only whisper.
Hopefully I'll be able to talk again in a day or so.
I had to write a message with my name and give it to the lady at CVS so I could get my medicine, that was strange. Felt like I was holding up a bank, handing them a note.
The boys like it because I can't yell at them, ha ha! :-) Actually it's amazing how much better the kids listen to me when I can only whisper.
Hopefully I'll be able to talk again in a day or so.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
I am officially a member of the "Bald Ladies Club"
I just had chemo yesterday, it was my first chemo since I was released from the hospital. I felt miserable yesterday when I came home, but things are better today. My hair was coming out in clumps again. I only had a very thin layer left, so we decided to shave the rest off last night.
Mark didn't have the heart to do it, so Wade said he would. He is such a good helper. Here's a picture of Wade cutting mommy's hair. We gradually cut it down shorter & shorter with the flowbee & then got out the razer and shaved the last 1/2 inch off.
I actually feel better. It was such a mess, my hair has been falling out everywhere, in my food, in my tea glass, in my sink, all over my pillow case and in my hats. So I think this is liberating to just get it over with instead of watching it slowly dissappear. The doctor can't believe it lasted this long, he said I was one of the few patients he has ever seen keep some hair after this many treatments (8 so far, 4 to go), especially chemo for Hodgkin's because it's so aggressive.
I just have to get used to it now. Hope I don't scare anyone! :) Surprisingly, the kids seem to be fine with it and think it's neat, so that's good. I was afraid they'd be scared of me, but I think it helped that I let them do the cutting.
If I can just make it through the next 8 weeks (4 treatments) then I'll be done with chemo and we can start on the radiation therapy.
I'll just be SO glad when this is all behind me!
Scott said...
Most of us do not view your new hair do as scary. We view it as a fighter and courages women. Not having hair is not all that bad just think no more long hours fixing it and no more bad hair days. so just think all of us that know you see you with hair no matter if it is present or not. but keep the faith Mal as I am thinking about you and Mark and soon you will be through this.
2:28 PM
Pat & Bobbye said...
Mallory, you're a beautiful person inside and out, even without the hair. Just think of shaving your hair off as a hair treatment that is going to make it grow back healthier and prettier. You're doing great and just hang in there a little while longer. We've got you and the whole family in our thoughts and prayers.
10:51 AM
Mark didn't have the heart to do it, so Wade said he would. He is such a good helper. Here's a picture of Wade cutting mommy's hair. We gradually cut it down shorter & shorter with the flowbee & then got out the razer and shaved the last 1/2 inch off.I actually feel better. It was such a mess, my hair has been falling out everywhere, in my food, in my tea glass, in my sink, all over my pillow case and in my hats. So I think this is liberating to just get it over with instead of watching it slowly dissappear. The doctor can't believe it lasted this long, he said I was one of the few patients he has ever seen keep some hair after this many treatments (8 so far, 4 to go), especially chemo for Hodgkin's because it's so aggressive.
I just have to get used to it now. Hope I don't scare anyone! :) Surprisingly, the kids seem to be fine with it and think it's neat, so that's good. I was afraid they'd be scared of me, but I think it helped that I let them do the cutting.If I can just make it through the next 8 weeks (4 treatments) then I'll be done with chemo and we can start on the radiation therapy.
I'll just be SO glad when this is all behind me!
Scott said...
Most of us do not view your new hair do as scary. We view it as a fighter and courages women. Not having hair is not all that bad just think no more long hours fixing it and no more bad hair days. so just think all of us that know you see you with hair no matter if it is present or not. but keep the faith Mal as I am thinking about you and Mark and soon you will be through this.
2:28 PM
Pat & Bobbye said...
Mallory, you're a beautiful person inside and out, even without the hair. Just think of shaving your hair off as a hair treatment that is going to make it grow back healthier and prettier. You're doing great and just hang in there a little while longer. We've got you and the whole family in our thoughts and prayers.
10:51 AM
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